


I Feel Like I'm Drowning

by LeonDesdichard



Series: Sourwolf and the Spark [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 3x07, Alive Erica Reyes, Derek is a Good Alpha, F/M, M/M, Panic Attacks, Why? Because she's amazing and I love her, currents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:59:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13408845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonDesdichard/pseuds/LeonDesdichard
Summary: I was rewatching Teen Wolf because I've been lacking ever since season six part two was finished anyone else? And I was watching the death of Boyd and you know what I want it different so I will make it different because I can. AU of 3x07 Currents.





	1. Drowning

The feeling of his claws ripping into Boyd's flesh like a hot knife through butter made Derek's breath stop in his throat. The feeling of his own claws ripping into his own Beta. The person that he had turned. The twins hands left his arms as they pulled his claws out from inside of Boyd's chest. Derek could feel the hot blood which was running down his claws and along his hands and down his wrists. The water had felt cold but the blood of his beta felt hot. Hotter than that one time when he had been young and had accidentally gotten his hand burned on a pot on the kitchen stove. This was worse. He felt as if everything was closing in around him. Boyd was saying things to him but they weren't audible to Derek as he tried to memorize the face that would be in the grave mere days from now. 

"It was worth it you know." 

That was the last thing that Derek heard before Boyd's eyes closed. Derek felt as if his lungs were shrinking. Every noise around him was muted. His heart felt as if it was beating overtime. While his lungs felt as if they were nonexistent. He couldn't breathe even though he was trying to breathe there was no breath coming into his lungs. Then a hand landed on his shoulder bringing him up for air. Everything around him was still muted but that hand made it so that he was able to breath. 

Stiles. It was always Stiles who seemed to accomplish the task. 

The buzzing in the background was something that Derek realized was Isaac panicking for some reason. Then Derek's heart stopped again. Erica. 

A loud roar resounded through Derek's loft and blond hair suddenly hit him in the face. Erica. 

"NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO! Boyd come on you can't die! You can't die on me!" Derek felt his breath coming in quick short bursts. None of the air was getting down into his lungs though. He felt his body being moved as someone pulled him to his feet and pulled him in a different direction. He had no idea who was pulling him or where he was even going until the said person sat him down on a soft surface. A bed. They were upstairs. Black spots were starting to come into his vision. Panic attack he realized, I must not be breathing. Derek thought distantly but it did nothing to stop the panic attack which he was having. He felt blood running down his face. He must have shifted at some point he realized as the blood continued to drip down his chin. Suddenly Derek felt a pair of hands on his face. He shifted his panicked gaze up to meet a pair of whiskey colored eyes, Stiles' he knew without a doubt. He knew those eyes well. Looking down Stiles' face he realized with a jolt that his boyfriend's mouth was moving and forming words. Derek tried his best to concentrate on the words which Stiles was saying but he couldn't hear them. The roaring buzz which had been in the background was still there making it so that he couldn't in any way understand what Stiles was saying. When Stiles removed one of his hands from Derek's face he felt a longing, he wished that he had kept both of his hands there. 

When Stiles grabbed one of Derek's own hands and placed it on his own chest Derek realized was Stiles was trying to get him to do. He wanted him to match his breathing with his. But Derek didn't know if he could, his lungs felt as if they had shrunk down so that they were ten times smaller than usual. He was struggling to match his breath with Stiles' which wasn't working as the darkness around Derek's vision was getting worse and worse when a roar broke through the water which Derek had felt as if he was drowning in. It was Isaac and Erica. 

"DEREK COME ON BREATHE WITH ME!" Derek felt as if he had been thrown back into reality. Derek struggled to match his breathing to Stiles'. As his breathing slowed down to a somewhat normal pace Stiles removed his hand from Derek's and placed them both back on his face. Stiles kissed him softly on the mouth coming back from the kiss with his lips covered lightly in blood where Derek had bitten through his lip with his fangs. 

"Hey Der. You want to try and put away the fangs now?" Derek tried to put away the fangs and the eyes but could only manage the fangs. His cobalt, steel blue eyes cutting through the darkness. "Hey don't worry about it Der. You can keep the eyes out if it's too much trouble for now." Derek was listening to the noise going on downstairs and heard Erica crying and Isaac sniffling obviously trying to keep back tears but obviously failing if the sniffling was anything to go by. And Cora. Oh God Cora was down there. She had to witness losing another pack member. 

"We need to go downstairs. I can't leave them alone right now." Stiles merely nodded in response to the statement from Derek. Upon descending the stairs down to the first floor of the loft Derek saw Erica laying atop Boyd and Isaac standing there looking down at the scene in front of him. Hearing a noise Derek listened closer. It was a beating noise. Nothing different than usual it was a heartbeat. There were seven. There shouldn't be any less than that in the room. 

Wait. Seven?

Derek bolted over to where Boyd was laying and upon motioning towards Isaac for him to grab Erica Isaac, though confused acquiesced. Both Isaac and Cora had to rip Erica away from Boyd's body. And Lydia stood there looking on at the scene clearly unsure as to what to do. Stiles was looking at Derek not as if he was crazy but in confusion as to what he was doing. Derek had placed his head down onto Boyd's chest and was listening. 

Derek's own heart nearly stopped upon hearing the slow thumping of Boyd's heart. It was faint but it was there. Derek immediately turned and looked over his shoulder at Lydia. 

"CALL DEATON!! NOW!!"

Lydia immediately sprung into action seeming almost glad to have something to do rather than to stand there doing nothing while everyone else was grieving over the pack member who that had thought dead. Derek immediately started taking pain away from Boyd, the black climbing up his arms as he took away some of his beta's pain. 

"Derek. You need to stop before you kill yourself." Stiles' voice cut through the air like a pen hitting the floor in a silent room. Derek merely nodded as a response not having the energy to verbally respond to him. Erica came over to Derek sitting next to him along with Isaac. Derek was still holding Boyd's hand not wanting to let go just in case. Boyd was unconscious which Derek considered to be a good thing since he would have been in a lot of pain from the alpha wound which he had been forced to inflict. He flinched upon feeling someone place their head atop his shoulder. Upon looking down he realized that it was Erica who had taken placed beside him and was giving him support. The beta which he had so nearly lost not too long ago. Something had to be done about these alphas, something more than what was being done currently he decided. 

"Deaton is on his way." Lydia's voice cut through the silence as she walked over to stand next to Stiles who sent a small smile her way as she seemed ready to collapse from the emotional stress of the day. Derek nodded in response before looking around at all of the water which was in his apartment. What was he going to do about all of the water in his apartment? He started laughing causing everyone in the room to flinch in response. Lydia was looking at him like he was crazy, Erica simply looked at him like he was having an emotional break. And Stiles. Stiles just looked concerned. 

"Derek?" Derek continued laughing for another couple of minutes before choosing to answer the groups confused looks and glances. 

"What am I going to do about all of this fucking water?" Isaac started laughing in response to what Derek had said along with Erica, Cora, and Stiles while Lydia just looked at them all as if they were crazy. This was the scene which Deaton arrived to as he walked in the door with a black leather bag in hand seeing them all laughing. Upon seeing the raised eyebrow Lydia told him about what Derek had said which caused Deaton to merely nod in response before telling Stiles that he needed the three werewolves surrounding him to give him some space. Stiles nodded before he tried convincing the three werewolves to give the veterinarian some space. The three wolves acquiesced to the request but not going far. 

"All of you should go ahead and change into dry clothes. It's going to take me a while to patch Boyd up." Derek seemed loathe to leave his beta along with Erica. Isaac went upstairs and reappeared with clothes from upstairs, two pairs of sweatpants and t-shirts. Upon telling Erica that he had just gotten her a pair of his own sweatpants she merely nodded. Derek walked over to Erica and looked her in the face. 

"Erica. Boyd is going to be alright. I need you to go and change and get cleaned up alright?" Erica blinked upon hearing Derek almost as if she had just come back to reality upon hearing her alpha talking to her. She nodded in response to what Derek had said still not saying a word but she looked more alive than she had since she had come running into the loft earlier. She walked over towards the bathroom where she was probably going to go change when Isaac handed Derek a pair of his own sweatpants that had been in the laundry room upstairs. Derek looked again at Boyd unsure as to whether he should leave his beta in the condition he was in. 

"Derek go and get changed, I'll keep an eye on him." He merely nodded in response to Stiles before he headed towards the metal staircase and towards the other bathroom in the loft. 

As soon as Derek had closed the bathroom door he looked into the mirror and nearly dropped the clothes he was holding in his arms. Damn but he looked awful. Now he understood why everyone had been looking at him so concerned. There was still traces of blood around his mouth where his fangs had pierced and torn his lip during his panic attack. His eyes were still blue but he somehow managed to change them back into his normal color. Upon looking down at his arms Derek felt his breath quickening. There was still the blood from earlier, the blood which had come from Boyd's chest. It was everywhere he realized, it was under his nails and all down his arms from where the blood had dripped down past his wrists. He felt his breath quickening, coming in short bursts as he tried to calm himself down. 

The door burst open revealing Stiles who kneeled down on the floor in front of Derek. When had he slid down to sit on the floor? Apparently he had. 

"Der? Derek calm down. Everyone is alright. Deaton even said that Boyd would wake up in a few hours. In pain but very much alive. Come on Derek everything is going to be alright." Stiles kissed him on the mouth and placed his forehead against Derek's in an effort to ground the alpha werewolf. Derek's breaths quickly evened out as Stiles sat there with him until he had managed to calm down again. Stiles stood up and Derek panicked thinking that he was leaving and upon hearing the sink realized that Stiles was getting something to wash off all of the blood which was on his face and arms. Upon reaching Derek he had his boyfriend stand so that he could remove the soaked through jeans and t-shirt that he was still wearing so that he could change into the sweatpants which Isaac had given him leaving his shirt off until the blood could be washed off. Stiles had Derek sit down on the toilet after putting the lid down. 

The cloth which he had wet with warm water was then used on Derek's face to wash off the blood around his mouth. Derek just sat there calmly as Stiles used the cloth to wash off all of the blood off. 

"You're all set." Stiles smiled after he had said this which caused Derek to even have a small smile as a response. Stiles was one of those people who just made you want to smile along with him. After rolling up the bottoms of his sweatpants so as to keep from getting them wet downstairs Derek and Stiles made their way downstairs to where Deaton had gotten Boyd on Derek's bed with the help of Cora. Upon reaching the bed Derek noticed that Boyd was sleeping calmly. 

"We should probably move him upstairs so that he's away from all of this water." Erica said speaking up for the first time since she had yelled at Boyd not to die. Everyone nodded in response. After Derek and Isaac had managed to move Boyd upstairs and they had left a message with a company to come and get all of the water removed tomorrow Derek had gotten one of the teenagers to text Boyd's mother so that she wouldn't be worried about her son's absence. Stiles walked over to Derek and told him that he needed to take Lydia since he had given her a ride to his boyfriend's loft. 

"I'll be back as soon as I drop her off." Derek merely nodded before placing a kiss on his mouth. They kept their foreheads against each others for a few moments afterwards almost as if to anchor the other. Upon seeing the loft door close Derek walked up the stairs to see Erica, Isaac, and Cora stationed around the bed which Boyd was laying in. 

"You know that you can lay in the bed next to him right? He's not going to break if you lay next to him." That seemed to trigger something in the three young werewolves because the next thing that Derek knew the two of them were up on the bed next to Boyd, close enough that they could keep him safe while not getting so close as to reopen their pack mates wounds. Derek laid down next to the other werewolves trying to stay awake until Stiles returned but felt himself drifting off, tired from all of the emotional stress which had been dealt to him in the last few hours knocking him out instantly as he laid next to the other four. He'd only sleep for a minute.


	2. Chapter 2

The feeling of flesh and of blood running down his hands. The feeling of the warm blood and the coppery smell which accompanied the vermillion liquid which caused everything in his body to scream. The ripping of the flesh. The smell which meant that one of his betas was going to die. Everything was going so terribly wrong and how was he going to explain to Erica that Boyd. The person that she was in love with had died after being impaled on his claws. He had died by his hands. He may not have thrust his claws through the teenager but he had practically killed the other boy by giving him the bite which had brought him into this. 

Boyd had mentioned how it had been worth it but had he just been trying to make him not feel bad about bringing about the teenager’s death. He was dead. He was dead and it was all his-.

“DEREK!” 

The male werewolf shot up in bed with a loud growl and directed his entire body towards the yell which had brought him from the nightmare which had been shaping up to be one for the history books in regard to Derek’s nightmares. Claws and teeth out Derek was poised over the person who had yelled and nearly ripped out the person’s throat. That is until he took a moment to take in just who exactly it was. 

Stiles. 

Derek immediately shot away from his boyfriend whom he had been poised over. What if he had attacked him. What if he had killed him like he had done to Boyd. Derek didn’t realize that he had been apologizing over and over again until Sties reached between the two of them and placed his hands on either side of his face. 

“Derek. Derek. Boyd’s not dead remember?” There was no way though that Boyd wasn’t dead. Derek had remembered killing him. He had remembered running him through with his claws and the blood running over them and gathering in between his fingers which would have stained the floor had there not been all of that water which Isaac, Boyd, and he had poured all over the floor. The electricity which had run through several of the alpha werewolves who had come to his loft. 

“Derek!” The alpha wolf blinked as he listened to Stiles yell out his name once more. He hadn’t realized that he had begun to zone out once again. Looking to Stiles who had concern written all over his face he looked around the loft and upon looking to his bed he felt his heart stop. Boyd. He wasn’t dead?

“He’s not dead?” Derek’s voice conveyed every single bit of confusion which he felt upon seeing Boyd’s body. His body which was moving with each breath which he was taking. Each one steady and slow. “Derek. You do remember what exactly happened last night right?” Derek looked around the room as he took in everything. Then everything that happened last night came back to him like a flood. Boyd had survived. Boyd had been saved. The alpha’s had not killed Boyd and neither had he. Derek began to shake as tears began to freely down his face as everything from the night before began to come back to him. The images flashing through his head in such a speed that it began to give him a headache. 

When the images began to slow down and he was able to focus upon what was actually going on around him he took in his surroundings and then looked back to Stiles before gently kissing him on the mouth. 

"What was that for?" 

"For keeping my own demons at bay." The smile which his boyfriend sent him could have gotten rid of any gray cloud. Stiles' happiness at being able to help Derek with any nightmare that he may have easily evident.


End file.
